What fascinates me is when I observe people living while being unconscious.
I grew up running around outside, playing with my sisters in the backyard. I have joyous memories of tree climbing, running around barefoot in the grass, eating fruit from our trees. A warmth comes over me even now as I write this.
I look back on this as an adult. That time was so profound for me because I was conscious of my existence. Every bird’s chirp, every cloud dragon that rolled across the sky, every ant-hill I hopped over, filled me with gratitude. Being a child, I did not process consciousness in that way. I was simply playing and having fun.
I was a good student and made good grades, yet I hated school. I was painfully conscious that I was uncomfortable and felt out of place. Teenage angst was not a thing then (lol), so I had to bear my unwelcome cross of emo-ness until I got to senior high school. It was there that I met my people. I joined the school marching band ( I played clarinet) and was welcomed by a group of nerdy musicians. I had genuine fun. We all accepted each other, and I was again conscious that I enjoyed life as I knew it.
When I started my work career, I devolved into a state of unconsciousness. I went from a free-spirited artist to a corporate 9 to 5 zombie. I spent years in the banking industry, with additional years in the real estate business. I was good at what I did, yet I had become materialistic. I was everything that I loathed. The weird thing about those years; I was conscious that I was living in a state of unconsciousness.
REAWAKENING OF CONSCIOUSNESS
It was a simple thing that snapped me back onto my conscious path. It was in 2000. My niece was just a few days old. My sister asked me to hold the baby while she went to make tea. My niece was napping in my arms, eyes closed.